Sick.

This post may go on a bit, because to be quite honest, its less of a well thought out explantion of ideas or opinion and more of a rant in blind rage.

So last night this neddy chavvy moron hits one of my friends for no reason other than sheer nihilistic cro-magnon self aggrandising imbecilic reptilian backbrain hardman bullshit. We crossed the road and apparently our velocity wasnt quite good enough for the gentleman in the pimped out corsa, so we got that special brand of venom he had saved up for the next person to cross his path.

I am just honest to god sick of bad people. These people who arent just being a little selfish like everyone is capable of, but the people whose moral compass points so far away from the directions on a conventional moral compas that you’d think their ethical planet has eight poles and nine equators, all of which point to the equivalent of a refugee camp in Hell. I’m sick of the random aggression, the acts of sheer unfettered selfishness and the mess these people leave behind in their wake.

I’m sick of cynicism. From me, from my friends, from every tv channel and newspaper and book and song and everything in between. I’m sick of seeing people I know doubt themselves or put their dreams on hold or just quite patently refuse to dream. I’m sick of holding back out of fear, and to paraphrase, I’m sick of fear itself.

Believe it or not, I consider myself an optimist. As churchill said, there is no point in being anything else. Thats what makes everything get to me I think. I know things can be better than this, than the fear and the anger and the random cruelty and menace, but I’m just not seeing it. Maybe its my own fault. Maybe I’m seeing the wrong things, and I’m not doing the right thing when I do see them. I havent been brave or smart enought o affect any real change. Here i am responding to violence with anger, which shouldnt be the logical response.

I’m going to regret this post tomorrow, when I’m not so damn tired or angry or ready for caving in. For tonight at least, it stays, hidden on page two of my blog. A little undercurrent of anger and cynicism, from me to the internet. I do apologise.